Conversations fizzle out once we move off the app.. am I over analysing the reason why?

Not always. But I notice a pattern where I’ll be talking with a match and it seems like a decent conversation - I’ll suggest we move the chat to Instagram. They’ll give me their IG handle, we’ll follow each other - then almost straight away the conversation will just fizzle out, I’m keeping the same energy as I did on the app, but it seems to happen a lot. Am I overthinking it? Maybe the conversation was going to die on the app anyway if I didn’t move it off… I dunno.

Great question, and it’s something a lot of people run into. Here’s the key issue: the goal of dating apps is to get to the date, not just shift the conversation to another platform like Instagram. Moving to another app can sometimes stall the momentum unless you handle it carefully.

Of course, some people want to check out your Instagram to feel more confident about who you are, and that’s perfectly normal. In fact, it’s usually a good sign. But if you’re not picking the conversation back up where it left off, that’s where things can fizzle out.

Here’s an example of how to handle it:

Let’s say the conversation on the app is going well:

• You: So, can I take you out for a glass of wine sometime?
• Her: Not sure yet... What’s your Instagram?
• You: [IG handle exchange]

Now, after you follow each other, don’t let the energy drop. Pick it back up with something like:

• You (next day): Well, did I pass the inspection? Can I take you out for that drink this week?
• Her: Lol, it was close, but you did! How’s Wednesday?

The key is to maintain the momentum and keep driving toward the goal—a date. If you let the conversation drift, it’ll feel like starting over, which is when things tend to die off.

Cheers!